"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
It wasn’t until a recent conversation that I realized I had been holding onto hidden pain. As we talked about people we knew who had been hurt by the church, my attitude shifted. My tone grew sharp and critical, with remarks like, “Church folks really need to do better,” and “I’m sick of these folks.” Bitterness—verbal poison—spilled out, and I spoke as if most believers were just like the ones we were discussing.
Later that night, I replayed the conversation in my mind, and a gentle thought surfaced: “Why did you respond that way?”
While acknowledging church hurt is important, I realized I could have also shared my positive experiences. Doing so would have brought light to a heavy discussion. That’s when it hit me: I was still carrying church hurt. I had been living under the shadow of past pain—the sting of shame, the scars of judgment, and the weight of rejection. The memories came flooding back, as ugly as the words I had spoken.
An Old Wound
I remembered a particularly painful moment when I was asked to share my story at a women’s retreat. As a teenager, I had made many poor choices, and they wanted me to talk about my journey. I believe their intentions were good, hoping my testimony would help others—and maybe it did. But as a young believer, I wasn’t ready to bare such vulnerable parts of my life in front of over a hundred women. Though my words were sincere, the experience left me feeling deeply exposed. It was embarrassing not only for me but also for my mother, who had no idea I would be sharing such personal details. That day left a lasting mark on my heart, one I didn’t fully realize I was still carrying. In that quiet moment, I began to understand that my bitterness wasn’t random—it was the residue of old wounds.
Letting Go, Moving Forward
I paused and thanked God for allowing me to recognize my bitterness. I was grateful for the opportunity He gave me to release the poison of years of resentment. That simple conversation became a gift—an awakening that it was time to forgive, heal, and move forward.
I know I’m not the only one affected by church hurt. Sadly, many have been wounded within the very walls of a place meant to be a refuge. Some have faced harsh criticism for their choices. Others were silenced after enduring abuse. For many, the pain of rejection and betrayal has lingered for years.
If you haven't already, let today be the start of your journey towards forgiveness, healing, and moving forward. People are imperfect and will inevitably hurt others. But God’s love is perfect. Don’t let human shortcomings keep you from experiencing the freedom that comes with a true relationship with Him.
God’s Love Transcends Our Wounds
Church hurt is real. It can show up through judgment, gossip, exclusion, or even well-intentioned missteps that leave lasting scars. Yet God’s love is never defined by people’s failures—it is anchored in His faithful, flawless, and unfailing character.
Remember this:
- Even if others have caused you pain, God has not, and He longs to help you heal.
- When shame tried to silence you, He spoke freedom and love into your life.
- When others hurt you, God promises never to leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV).
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but it begins with acknowledging the ache, surrendering the scars, and leaning on His limitless love. God’s love not only heals—it restores. While the church is called to reflect Christ, it is still filled with imperfect people. Even though other people may disappoint you, God never has and never will. He loves you beyond measure. He longs for you to move forward—allowing Him to heal your pain and replace it with His peace.
Let’s Reflect
- Have you ever allowed the shortcomings of individuals within the church to shape your view of God?
- What intentional step can you take today to let God’s love, rather than past wounds, guide your identity and healing?
Let's Pray
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for reminding me that Your love is greater than my wounds. Where others have failed me, You have remained faithful. Heal the places in my heart that still carry the sting of church hurt. Replace bitterness with forgiveness, sorrow with peace, and shame with freedom. Help me to see Your church through the eyes of grace, and to trust that nothing can separate me from Your love in Christ Jesus. Draw me closer to You today, and let my life reflect Your healing love to others.
Amen.
